My Love Affair with Fibrous Baked Goods

A while ago one of my co-workers wanted to bring everyone breakfast. She asked me what I wanted. I told her, "Well, you know I love a good bran muffin." She said, "Yeah, I know. That's kind of weird. What are you—like 95?"

I also seem to wear a lot of purple and some of my favorite movies star Cary Grant.

But whatever.

I love bran muffins. Youthful bran muffins. One of these days they'll discover that bran muffins are the cure to crow's feet and cellulite, and then we'll see who's mocking who.

I've decided that I'm going to find the most delectable healthy bran muffin recipe and then make industrial-sized quantities. Like enough to feed an entire summercamp of overly emotional thirteen-year-old girls. These days I'm in the habit of buying these massive bran muffins from a local grocery bakery. When I say "massive," please envision a baked good the size of a softball. They're very sweet, these muffins. In fact, they're probably more like bran cake (mind-light-bulb: I want bran cake for my birthday!). So while I love them, I think my girlish figure would appreciate it if the "bran" weren't stampeded by "sugar."

These are the first recipes I will be trying:

Bran Muffins III
Bran Muffins
Low-Fat Blueberry Bran Muffins

I'm most excited about the middle recipe (shredded carrot! I just got chills!). And I really mean it when I say "excited."

I don't get out much.

Speaking of birthdays, please get me this: